I'm feeling a bit helpless and I'm having a hard time talking about it. I've been thinking more about blogging again, so here I am.
Cooper seems to be regressing. I don't know why he is, but as a parent, I start to question my abilities. His teacher called for a meeting... we'll be meeting next week. I've had to carry him kicking and screaming too many times these past few weeks. I hear... "NO MOM, WE DO NOT DO THAT, WE GO HOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE!" I wrote yesterday that carrying a 47 lb kicking child is sometimes more of a mental task than a physical task. So true, so true.
This morning... he was completely non-compliant. We were a half an hour late to school this AM. While I try to get him in his carseat... he kicks. I cry. I just can't handle it some days. It's usually the days after days after days of this non-compliant behavior... I just break. I break and feel helpless.
I cry on the way to school. I get it together and try to get him in school. Again, didn't go so well. It took about 15 minutes to get him from the car to the building. Once in the building, he sat in this chair and didn't move. I held it together until one of his teachers asked about him and his behavior. Then, gah. 2 teachers seen me cry... They said they'd listen if I ever just need to talk. They're not the ones I want to talk to... I like them, but I can't help but think they would judge me and my family. No thank you.
It just sucks.
You are a wonderful mom Mandy and you are doing everything that you are supposed to be doing. Sometimes life throws you things that you can not control which is the hardest part. You just try and learn from each experience. I feel every bit of your pain this week. He will get better. I am hoping that the sun will start shining and that they can get some fresh air soon. I am starting to think it really is the weather that is affecting them. They are not getting outside recess or any outside playtime. Who knows that could be part of it. I think that you are amazing and am so glad that we have become such good friends. You need to talk to others that just get it! Chin up!
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