WIW

Start : 12/09 = 173
Today :  3/31 = 165
last week = + .5

Total loss = 8 lbs


The last 2 weeks have been rough.  My ankle injury really put a damper in my routine and then I started to eat bad and so on and so forth.  Then, we did an autism study in Madison, WI and I don't eat well when I'm not at home.  I don't do well with food temptations.


So, it took 2 weeks, but I'm back on track.  My head is on straight and I have my eye on the prize.  I started P90X again and I'm following a diet.  I'm going to do my best and forget the rest.  That is what matters right?

Today is a good day

My friend Lua gave me some Yerba Mate tea to try.  Jillian Michaels is a big fan.  She says it contains clean caffeine (even better than coffee) which is good for an extra metabolism boost.

I've had about 2 cups today and so far, I'm a big fan too.  I'm usually reaching for a Diet Pepsi or 3, but I've stopped buying it.  I drink it when out, but I won't buy it for home anymore.  This tea has me so much more alert than Diet Pepsi ever did and it's not filled with a bunch of miscellaneous ingredients.

I'm off to go get some things done.  Yay for not feeling like a zombie!

WIW

Start : 12/09 = 173
Today :  3/17 = 164.5
lost last week = maintained

Total loss = 8.5 lbs. gone forever


Last week was bleh.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  blah blah blah.


So I've seen my new therapist lady 2 times now.  Still trying to hash out my story... why I am the way that I am.   I like her a lot.  She and I have similar personalities.  


It's interesting because she does "talk therapy" and she does something called "biofeedback."  We'll get the the biofeedback part one day when I go in and I have nothing to talk about.  heh.  Google biofeedback though... cool stuff.  I have a friend who went to her and the biofeedback really helped him work through some anxiety he was having.  Yay for effective treatments.  


I think what I've learned so far about myself is that I have a very low self esteem.  I never thought of it like that, but after reading more about self esteem... yah, my self esteem is pretty shitty and it's been that way for a long time.  We're starting out small and going to build it up, slowly and surely.  


I have this quote as my laptop wallpaper background, "Beware- The world is more fierce, mysterious and beautiful than you imagine....  and so are you."  

WIW (Weigh in Wednesday)

Start : 12/09 = 173
Today :  3/10 = 164.5
lost last week = -1.5

Total loss = 8.5 lbs. gone forever


Yay for reaching my weekly goal.  I aim to lose 1.5 a week.  I know some weeks it'll happen and some weeks it won't.    Muscle weighs more than fat and I need to keep reminding myself that, especially on the weeks that I don't quite reach my goal.

"Well, I didn't."

Maddy and I almost got hit by a car yesterday.  We just got out of our car and was walking towards the grocery store (looked both ways, no cars, decided to cross the street/isle of parking spaces) when this younger guy, speeds into the parking lot and turns into the isle we are crossing without slowing down.  I looked right at him and saw his face as he swerved.  He looked shocked, as if there aren't people in parking lots.  Thank GOD he didn't hit us.  I thought we were gone.  This older guy was walking about 10-15 feet in front of us saw the whole thing and also thought we were going to be hit. The younger guy was going so fast, he was able to park his car and ended up walking next to us into the store.  The older guy said some choice words and basically said, "You almost hit this woman and child!"  He was pissed.  I had tears in my eyes I was so shaken.  The younger guy looks right at me, cocks his head and said, "Well, I didn't." and walked away.

I thanked the older guy for speaking up.  It meant a lot to me.  I patted/rubbed his back as he walked away.

I keep replaying this whole incident over and over.  What if this, what if that.  I'm so thankful.... so so thankful.

I didn't feel like doing anything last night.  I just wanted to lay on the couch.  Almost getting hit by a car really put a funk in my mood... imagine that.  After much debating, I decided to get up and do my day 2 of the Couch to 5 k (C25K) program.  I'm so glad I did.  I was able to clear my mind and get some fresh air.  It was just what I needed.

Running is going great.  I love my Vibram sprint shoes.  I can honestly say that I am enjoying running.  I'm always looking forward to my next run.  :)

Tomorrow is Wednesday and I'm looking forward to weighing in.

Weigh in Wednesday

Sometimes old habits are good habits.  I'm going to start Weigh in Wednesdays again because there is something about posting my weight that keeps it real and keeps me motivated.  Letting you follow my progress only motivates me, especially if you tell me I rock.  :)

So back in December is when I decided it was time to change.  I was up to 173.  I think it's the heaviest I have been without having a bouncing 7.5 or 8.5 lb baby to blame the weight on.  My heaviest was after having Cooper.  I had a terrible pregnancy which left me at 218 lbs.  Bleh.  Moving forward....

Start : 12/09 = 173
Today :  3/3 = 166

Total loss = 7 lbs. gone forever

February was a rough month for me.  I actually gained 3.5 lbs during that time period, but I'm moving forward.  I have my head back on straight.  My diet is wonderful and I'm going to start running, in addition to doing my P90X workouts.  P90X was going great but it's been 2 weeks since I have done a workout with it.  Craig left for a week, all hell broke loose and I caught a cold.  I'm picking right back up where I left off though.

I'm not in any hurry to lose the weight, just as long as it's coming off.  My goal date though is my 30th birthday,  January 9, 2011.  It just gives me something to look forward to.  My motto is, "Slow and steady wins the race."  I don't want to stress about it.  I've tried that in the past and it doesn't work.

My 1st reward is to get highlights and lowlights when I get down to 155.  155 is 11 lbs away and a weight that I consider to be the top of where I feel comfortable.  It's been a good 9 months since I had my hair done (not just cut).  Then my next goal is 150, then 147, then 3 lbs at a time after that.  The smallest I have been in my adult life was 147 in 2006.   It's really hard for me to imagine what I will look like when I get fit.  We'll see what happens.  :)

So, stay tuned.  More good things to come.  :)

My Goals

Back in December I set a goal for myself.  That goal is to be the healthiest I've ever been by the time I am 30.  That leaves me about 10 months to do this and by golly, I'm going to do it!

It's not about being skinny.  If I wanted to just be skinny, then I'd go on some crazy diet and lose 30 lbs and still not be what I would call healthy.  For me it's about accomplishing bigger goals and those bigger goals will help me shed pounds and keep them off for good.

It's time to put myself first and accomplish some things I want to do.  I need to regain my self worth and self respect.  I need some healthy, good self esteem.  I want to look in the mirror and think, "MILF!"  ... cause really, that's what all moms want to be.  ;)  

One goal is to be a runner.  I have thought about this for a good 2 years and it's time to stop thinking and start doing.  I'm planning some 5k's for this year.  :)

Another goal is to talk to a therapist to figure out my issues.  Everyone has issues.  I'm tired of my issues and how they play a negative role in my life.   I'm ready to figure them out and move on.  I go for my 1st appointment on Thursday.  I'm quite excited!

Doing these things, no doubt in my mind, I'll be where I want to be... where I need to be.  2010 is going to be amazing.